New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
