i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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