It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
