so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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