Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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