I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
