I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
