My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
