You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
