Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
