i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
