What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
