there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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