its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
