I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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