Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
