escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize