just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
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