He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
