you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
