you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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