you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
