You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
