i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
