Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
