In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
