yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
