She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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