we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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