he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
