its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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