How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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