After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
