I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize