i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
