I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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