My liver just broke up with me...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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