what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize