bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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