My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
