She's JV to your varsity
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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