Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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