We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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