My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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