I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
