I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
