Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
