I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
