and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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