I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
