he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
