it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize