And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Never let your siblings swipe right.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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