Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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