I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
