there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
