im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He shit in the fireplace
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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